How do you deal with a divorce?

Hi Ruchi,The reason why we people in the same boat are on this site is similar..reasoning over why divorce happens ////.....countless..The best way to cope with it is try to find someone of your choice.. but then again the problem...The saying goes Once bitten twice shy..So I feel it is destiny in its truest form that will help you..I have been on this site for quite a while but uptill now hv not found anybody..So life goes on..and we are just the tip of the iceberg with theses small problems..called Divorce..U Keep well..Bye now

best thing is to realise that it is better this way keeping it going..... is a mess.....This way both get to live life.... differently..... when things are going bad....  we wonder why.....  why stay in there and be misrable....Life continues.....  some times i wonder if it was better to be there with all the problems and so on... But when I look back..  its better to be alone and lonely and miserable than to be be with one you love and be misrable.....

You are right Sukumar....i have also come to the same conclusion. Love is only meant to give happines...and if thats not happening then its practical to step back and see where things are going wrong. and if its beyond repair...then its better to save 2 lives...rather than destroy them all-together...

The initial phase after a traumatic divorce is always painful for everyone around you. After my time of drinking heavily, losing my job, and ending up in severe financial debts, there was only one direction left. Forward.I turned all the negatives into positives: stopped drinking-found a job-cleared my debts(took a long time though). Focusing on the life ahead and achieving my goals helped greatly to put the past behind.I now have a positive attitude and know the type of partner would suit me best. Advantage of finding a partner with similar experience is one can share that and fully understand one another.As far as being lonely- I didn't have time for those feelings - too occupied. But nephews and nieces helped to cope aswell as understanding family and friends.It's a stigma to be divorced, I simply chose the right friends.But it could have easily gone in the other direction-alchoholic- no home - still in debt.Focus on the postive Ruchi, you'll become a better person.

Thanks Ramesh and Prem for sharing your views too. Maybe i came across as negative in my pevious posts but tht surely wasnt the intention. I can assure you that i am as positive as one can and should be...looking only in one direction...forward (taking a life from Ramesh here)... keep posting people...! would love to see more girls on the forum please...

Hi Ruchi, Hv u found someone ????lol..

Not as yet Neville...looking..! :)

Hey Ruchi,How are you managing life alone?, My work  took me away from my home in Bangalore and has planted me in a little town called pimpri near pune....I am beggining to understand what it means to live with myself....  A thought that crossed my mind is that if I cant live with myself, how can I expect anyone else to do so?Its quite an intresting situation, because there is actualy no one (not even my dog) to talk with so I decided I will cook for myself, do a lot of internal converstaions etc....Would like to hear about your experiences as well

Here is a beautiful Poem my daughter sent to me..... It helped me enormously.... in realising I need to get to know myself instead of trying to define myself through my partner's eyes Love After Love The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life. -Derek Walcott

Great poem Sukumar...I think i agree with you that living alone does give you time to contemplate upon things...but then i would be lying to myself if i said that i would want to stay that ways always...i hv realized that a partner is imp in one's life...there should be atleast one more person who knows the real you, besides you yourself..!!keep writing in guys...