Request for Suggestion suffering from wife

pvcravi

Hi All, I am requesting suggestion from you guys. My background may look strange for some people. I came from traditional family and married * years back arranged by parents. I am very well educated (IITian) and holding a good position as Manager. Well settled financially and professionally. first * year my wife was ok. Later she started behaving very weird manner. Scolds me for everything with out any reason and says i am not taking proper care of her. She used to work at that time and when she was pregnant she has given up her job. But she blamed that I forced her to quit job. we had a kid and life was a bit busy. Then she tried for another job she could not manage to get job. For that also she scolds me and tortures me every day. With lot of patience I some how managed with out making nuisance. she took all my soft nature into her advantage and torturing me. She says I am not intelligent and I have to listen her for everything. This is all ok and bearable by anyone. Recently from last * years, she is fighting with me every day for everything. she says i am neglecting her and have another relation. I am very shy guy and never even talk to any other girl properly. Then one day I seriously made inquiry about her background and found some shocking truths. She had many affairs and boyfriends during her college days. And to my worst fortune she is continuing even today. I am completely cheated. She is just living with me for the sake of society and for the money that I earn. I recorded her romantic talks with her boyfriend. I got all proofs required. If i apply with the proofs I will definitely get divorce. But I am not interested in divorce because our kid will suffer without his mistake. Moreover my brother recently took divorce because of exactly same reason. she has affairs. Now my parents are feeling bad about their mistake with my brother. If i tell my story they cannot come out of the shock. Even though I have all proofs to catch my wife red handed, I am not able to do anything. Taking my soft nature to her advantage, she sold one property with out my notice that I gifted her during early marriage days. She gave that money to her boyfriend who is not earning properly. Totally ridiculous!!!. When I questioned her what happened to that property, she lied to me that she took loans for her marriage and cleared those debts. This is just one example. like that she did several things. I dont want to bore you with all that big stories. And I am really suffering a lot in my life. Some times I feel why should i suffer? I have everything in my life. But still suffering a lot. Ok. now I request your valuable suggestions on how do i proceed further. What do you suggest me to do? *. Just live like the way to grow up the kid. and sponsor all her illegal activities? *. Tell everything to both parents and apply for divorce? (Not sure if my parents can sustain the shock at this very old age) *. Do tit for Tat by having another relationship for me? Please suggest. Ravi

Replies(4) | 2010-Aug-28

Inactive Profile

Very sorry to hear ur sad story.Plz go to SIFF.com for help and proper advice.

rohandharesh
04-Sep-10

Ravi, I suggest that you seek divorce based on adultery and cheating and seek custody of your child. Once you get the divorce, marry another lady with the condition that she would be a good mom to your child. Your parents - think of some way where you can avoid telling them the truth. But never ever sponsor her illegal activities; don't pay alimony or maintenance after divorce. Ensure that you have all the legal support before you go in for divorce. Because, the laws favour women. Your wife can file a criminal case under section ***A, a case under domestic violence act, section *** Crpc (maintenance), and child custody to name a few. She can get you vacated from your own house under the Dv act although you are the property owner. She can file dowry cases under which your parents could be arrested! THIS IS THE REASON WHY THE MEN'S RIGHTS MOVEMENT IS PICKING IN INDIA AS THE LAWS ARE STUPID AND MINDLESS. So seek legal help from the best of lawyers. You are lucky to be financially well-off. File a divorce case without telling her. It should take her by surprise. Meanwhile, get anticipatory bail for all your family members and yourself. {In the office, tell your boss and friends about this and the possibility of a criminal case against you so that they will not sack you} You can also file a case against the boyfriend and boyfriends of your wife under section *** for adultery. Contact SIFF and its allied organisations. Our members would guide you better.

Inactive Profile

Hey Rohan what is a never married guy like u doing here??? This place is not u dear.

wewillmeet
04-Sep-10

Try to think in few different ways, and evaluate plus and minus. What is good for you, what is good for kid, what is good in long term, what is good for family in long term. There can be many strategies, each have its own plus minus........ like ..... a. don't care just resume normal life. b. divorce her (if you think that after twwo*years your life will be okay ! and you will get a great girl who will care you and your kid and family) ...... c. Stop (minimize) money to her and let her do what she tries...... d. collect evidences and sue her lover (not your wife) and in court your wife will most probably say that, that person cheated (she will have to use "raped" not cheated) her, not you ! . . . .... e. Try for divorce (without your kid) .... f Try divorce (with your kid with you) ...... g. Trace out the real problem in relation and hit at the root..... h. Try to find out what her family, friends want and try if they can create emotional influence over her. i. Tit for tat ( but in long term it can create double pressure ! ) .... j.Try emotional methods to get her back..... k. Try to psychologically pressurize, get her photograph(with him) and hang on her dressing table, and your wedding and kid's photo on sides ... .......... see you can think better than us ! (many of these things may not be ethically good) . Many people here were cheated by their spouse... and few still think (me too) that good person will be winner in long term. We can think that , If her lower don't earn and if he is not good person, then let her go to hell (see will loose good husband, kid's respect etc you will be gainer...... but see in long term this not socially good ! marriage should be resumed !!! even after these things ! unless it is irretrievable ) ........ we shouldn't think about why this happened, I was good, is there God or not ... fact will remain fact... that was an accident and how we "have to" repair and depends upon us that how much we can recover (or even can make life better than earlier !!!!! ) .....

pvcravi
05-Sep-10

Hi guys, thank you for valuable information. I donot know all these sections and dont really know that a women can do those many things with the help of stupid indian law. Its clearly biased. I will try to follow that. You are right rohan, I should take her to surprize. mean while i will collect enough evidences. thanks

pvcravi
14-Sep-10

I have gone through some of the articles on SIFF. I am really scared after reading all them. Even after having all the proofs I may not get divorce if she is not willing to give. :( I understand that she is living with me only for financial security. I am really confused whether I need to go for divorce with the current proofs. Because this stupid indian law is too much biased.

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