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10 Tips for Marriage After Divorce
26 Aug 2008 9:07 PM by Sachin Gupta
In a marriage after divorce, one or both partners may bring painful past experiences into the relationship. Here are 10 tips to make remarriage successful.
After a family divorce, people may be more cautious about relationships and remarriage – making second marriages a bit more difficult to enjoy freely. "When you've been hurt, it's hard to let yourself be vulnerable again," say the authors of Making Marriage Work for Dummies.
Chances of marriage after divorce
If you're a divorced woman with small children, your chances of marriage after divorce are small compared to divorced women without kids, divorced men, and never-married people. "Divorcees in particular would rather not live with a partner, whereas people who have only cohabitated in the past still want that. Previous divorce experiences affect the preferences of women more profoundly than those of men," cites Science Daily in the article "Divorce Reduces Chances of New, Successful Relationship."
But marriage after divorce not only happens, it can be wildly successful!
10 tips for marriage after divorce
Settle your first marriage. In addition to the financial, social, and geographical considerations, make sure you're emotionally ready to be in a new relationship.
Understand your mistakes. Figure out your weaknesses and mistakes in your first marriage, and make sure you don't repeat them in your second marriage.
Get to know your partner. Take this second marriage as an opportunity to really get to know your new lover on a deeper level.
Let yourself be known. Be vulnerable, open and honest about your fears and hopes. Share yourself without fear of failure or getting hurt.
Go to premarital counseling. Seek an objective counseling session(s) to lay the foundation for a strong remarriage.
Start fresh. Build your marriage after divorce in a new house or neighborhood – move away from a small town or community. Don't let old ghosts haunt your remarriage.
Develop new routines. Get out of your first marriage rut by developing new habits and traditions to make your remarriage successful.
Practice flexibility. If you've been divorced or single a long time, you may have your own set routines. Be open to change and compromise, and making adjustments in your remarriage.
Deal with money issues. Many remarriages are difficult because of child support payments, alimony, etc. If money issues are problematic, get a divorce mediator or financial consultant to help settle financial issues fairly.
Leave the negativity behind. Focus on a successful remarriage without being dragged down with thoughts of failure or divorce a second time.