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Remarriage: Ideas, Tips & Etiquette

26 Aug 2008 9:13 PM by Sachin Gupta in Re-Marriage
Second, third, even fourth marriages are relatively commonplace in this day and age. While nobody applauds the high divorce rate in this country, we nonetheless recognize remarriage as a fact of life -- and a great opportunity for a happy new start (and a cool second wedding) for thousands of couples.

Second- or third-time-around couples often find themselves at a loss as to how to go about celebrating their nuptials -- as if a marriage that is not one's first is any less cause for celebration. Because the traditional picture of the blushing first-time bride and groom is growing increasingly less representative of those getting married, we at the Knot have put together some tips, ideas, and advice for all those going through this (still heady, still giddy) period of engagement and marriage, when you've been there, done that before.

Our outlook on this situation is "This Time, Do It the Way You Want It." Take advantage of whatever experience and maturity you've gained since the first marriage(s) and apply it to making this one the best!

ATTIRE
Brides: Be yourself. Let your personality shine through. Traditional garb is probably what you wore when you married someone else -- this time go for what you like! This also means that if you always wanted to wear the big white dress, but for some reason didn't get to before, do it now! Grooms: Take that money you would have used on a (new) tux and buy an Armani suit (or something else that makes you feel suave). Be as individualistic as the woman you are marrying.

Choose your attendants' attire with the same philosophy. They don't all have to wear the same thing, they don't have to wear tuxes, taffeta dresses, etc. Incorporate your personalities into the proceedings.

ENGAGEMENT
The very first people to be told of the upcoming wedding should be children either of you have from previous marriages. This is very important: Even if you are lucky enough to have children who adore your new husband or wife, if they are not the first to be told it can be very alienating for them. Your kids are going to have a brand-new stepparent -- no one should know that before they do, right? Right. Often, in a second marriage where there are children, the children will walk down the aisle ahead of the couple, making a strong statement that this marriage is an important step for all involved.

Although previously there was a stigma attached to announcing one's (second) engagement or wedding in the newspaper, there is no such stigma now. Check with your newspaper as to format.

SHOWERS
Because the couple probably has most necessary household items, go for interesting theme showers:

Self-Improvement: lessons for cooking, calligraphy, sculpting, ballroom dancing; scuba diving; museum or health-club memberships; a concert, readings, ballet, or opera series; a weekend at a spa.

Wine Cellar: wine glasses; corkscrew; wine rack; membership to a wine-of-the-month club; wine newsletter; wine-tasting classes.

Great Outdoors: gardening tools; skis; hiking/camping equipment; binoculars; rock-climbing lessons; a gas grill.

FINANCES
Money is not a very romantic topic. We can all agree on this. However, in an area as legal and binding as a marriage (and as fraught with emotion), it must be considered and discussed, to the mutual benefit of everyone involved. When a couple is remarrying, it is often an even larger issue, because chances are they have more possessions, investments, property, etc. In her book "Money Advice for Your Successful Remarriage: Handling Delicate Financial Issues with Love and Understanding" (Betterway Books, 1996), author Patricia Schiff Estess talks about the "ABCs of Money Management: Accounts, Budgets, and Chores." She outlines several money-management strategies tailored for different situations and different personalities, for example, ways of pooling or not pooling income when there are children from previous marriages involved; the "one pot," "two pot," or "three pot" system -- which refers to how many bank accounts the couple will separately and jointly maintain, etc. It's a good book for anyone thinking of making the leap -- again.

Congratulations to all those who are lucky and romantic enough to have found love again!

(Courtesy: http://www.theknot.com)


67 Comment(s)

Geste :

on 26 Aug 10 at 11:23 AM

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

Geste :

on 31 Jul 09 at 10:04 AM

Wow,this is cool, one could discuss in the forum and getto know unlike marriage bureau :))

Geste :

on 15 Jun 09 at 9:44 AM

hi im looking for a tall,fair ,goodlooking lifepartner who will understand me and arav my son.I would like to be friends first

ANJANI KUMAR :

on 15 Jun 09 at 9:44 AM

i can not understand yet,y my profile iz not suitable for any girl here.any thing wrong in my profile or am i looking younger than them?

devender :

on 15 Jun 09 at 9:44 AM

every person thinking for lifepartner. but the sucessful marriage is depend on both side. (male and female). marriage means life time realtionship between man and woman.for sucessful marriage life both sideneed understanding lovecare thinking feeling, passion, sharing,more livelike onebody one life and not a*body*life.

javed :

on 15 Jun 09 at 9:44 AM

If any tall women wanna good life partner then contact me on *

rohandharesh :

on 18 May 09 at 5:06 PM

Here you will not find many victims of tantra and mantra....this is a place to find victims of 498A and DV.

Geste :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

hi akshay, jo bhi aap ne likha use lagata hai ke aap bahut hurt hua hai but it means not dat ke sab ek jaise hota hai ? so try to change ur thinking .

Rakesh :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

Is there anyone who has become a victim of Tantra-Mantra?

R :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

Good morning, Life is wonderful, every moment is to be lived fully, to be enjoyed. Just make it your own Responsibility to make your own individual life Fun for yourself. I am a complete person and will welcome another who is cpmplete in her own self to join me in this wonderful journey of life. You can contact me at rajaji1233 at the hoo ya at the*of the com. Take care. Ravi

Subrata :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

MY SECOND COMMENT IS THAT ----- -------------- "JEENE KE HAI CHAAR DIN BAKI HAI BEKAR DIN BUT SOONO GOORSE KE KE KE JAYE JAYE JAYE JAYE EKBAR JO JAYE, JABANI FIR NA AYEA, FIR KABHI NA AYEA, IS JINDEGHI ME TO KABHI NA AYEA." --- PLEASE KEEP IT MIND MY DEAR LADIES.

Rakesh :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

Well, Mr. Subrata, I have seen your comments. But I don't think that this will be a good idea to choose a partner for life.

Rakesh :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

A life partner is one who comes in your life like a light in deep darkness, like cool shower in a hot summer, like a bottle of water in desert etc.... The person for whom one can do anything because that person loves you so much. But all of us are not so lucky because most of us continue searching for our true life partner but sometimes we accept a partner who is not at all meant for us. That is why, we should think as many times as possible before accepting a person as a life partner.

Rakesh :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

Even in a marriage, the girls are generally becoming choosy. They generally accept a proposal but instead of advancing with that proposal they generally tend to postpone the proposal and meanwhile they continue searching the other proposals and then they want to choose who is more richer, handsome, smart etc. Girls generally don't want to even advance with any proposal fast. They generally have the tendency to postpone a proposal so that they can choose. But they forget one thing and that is the time does not wait for anyone. If they don't want to proceed further then the boys will also do the same.

Rakesh :

on 18 May 09 at 10:49 AM

Hi, Miss Riya Sharma. How are you?

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