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A Guide to Getting Remarried in Style

26 Aug 2008 9:12 PM by Sachin Gupta in Wedding
It seems like everyone has an opinion on second weddings. "You shouldn't wear white" or "You shouldn't have such a fancy second wedding" or even "Eloping is what made the first marriage fail – you have to have a big church wedding this time." If you're planning a second wedding while trying to sort out etiquette from opinions, here's a guide for everything from what to wear to how to register. Don't worry - you're older, you're wiser and you've got some experience under your belt – this time should be a snap, right?

Second Wedding Dresses and Attire

The good news is that the old rule about not wearing white for a second wedding has gone out the window. You can wear whatever color feels and looks good on you. Most brides getting remarried have already had their "Princess in a white dress" moment the first time around, and so opt for a more mature look such as a brocade suit or a simple cocktail dress. However, if you eloped the first time, or simply want to have that Princess moment again, there's no reason why you can't. In fact, as divorce and remarriage becomes an evermore regular part of our society, the possibilities for what a second wedding dress can be are endless.

Ideas for what to wear to a second wedding:

  • a designer dress that you've been salivating over, but couldn't justify its expense – until now

  • an off-white floor-length sheath dress

  • a beautiful suit, in any color

  • especially if you looked like a demure princess the first time, wow 'em with a sexy slip dress

Announcing Your Engagement and Telling Your Ex-Husband or Ex-Wife

The very first people you should tell are your children. You can ask them if they'd rather tell their other parent, or if they prefer that you share the news. If you don't have children, it is certainly not mandatory that you inform your ex-spouse – only tell them if you'd rather they didn't hear it from someone else. Many people find that its easiest to send a letter saying "I wanted to share with you the glad news that John and I are getting married. I've already told our children, and asked them to be a part of the wedding ceremony." Afterwards, in the regular way.

Involving Children in a Second Wedding

If you have children, you may wish to make them a special part of your second wedding. Depending on their age, they may be a flower girl, ring bearer, junior bridesmaid or groomsman, or even the best man or maid of honor. Perhaps they would like to read something during the ceremony, or make a special toast during the reception. Make sure that they are comfortable with their role. If your children are especially young, you may want to invite their other parent to be there.

Something that is becoming more common is to include children in a second wedding with a family vow after the bride and groom's vows. For example, "I, (name), solemnly promise that I will care for you, love you and honor you as my own." Some people also give a small medallion or piece of jewelry, saying something like "Take this as a symbol of our family, and our love for you." Other couples instead will simply ask their officiant to bless them and declare them one united family. are perfect for second weddings as well.

One couple that I knew included their children's names on their invitations, saying "Diane Jones and Mark Smith invite you to join them as they celebrate their wedding, and together with their son Winston Jones, become one family." In this case, the bride was a widow. Divorced couples will want to make sure their ex-spouses are comfortable with such wording.

Registering and Wedding Gifts for a Second Wedding

Rules of etiquette state that gifts are not mandatory for a second wedding. This is because traditionally wedding gifts are to help a couple set up their household, and presumably, second time brides and grooms already have their own households. However, gifts are now much more common for a second wedding. You can register just as you did for your first wedding. You may wish to register for more fun things such as art work, or at a store like Sears where you can register for everything from furniture to electronics as well as home goods.

Bridal Showers for a Second Wedding

For the same reason that wedding gifts aren't always given, bridal showers for a second-time bride are not that common. Your friends may insist on throwing one. If so, look for an unusual theme such as "stock the liquor cabinet" where guests are asked to bring either glassware, bar accessories, or a favorite bottle of liquor. Of course, you'll have to have the guests over soon to enjoy the success of such a shower!

Who Pays for a Second Wedding

Typically the bride and groom split the costs of a second wedding evenly. Whether or not they contributed to the costs of your first wedding, you shouldn't expect parents or relatives to chip in. Of course, if they offer, you may accept their help graciously.

(Courtesy: http://weddings.about.com)


53 Comment(s)

Geste :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:19 AM

Hi every one

Geste :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:03 AM

I smile every single day I'm happy in each photograph They all think that I'm okay They don't see through my fake laugh They don't see me when I cry For it is something that I hide They don't see tears in my eye When I'm breaking down inside You'd think that after all this time It's something they would see That they'd look in these eyes of mine And see the pain in me Instead I'm laughing everyday Like there's no pain at all For if I laugh then they won't see The hidden tears that fall.

Geste :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:03 AM

Hi,Happy NAV-Ratri Utsav to all of u n all the best

vikas :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:03 AM

thanks avinash and same to all

aayna :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:03 AM

I wish all the people at Second Shaadi a Very Happy and a Prosperous Navratre and Durga Pooja. May Mata rani bless you with Your Dream Partner and your Search Become Success. Regards Aayna

Geste :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:03 AM

aayna : wish you the same

Geste :

on 11 Oct 10 at 10:03 AM


"When You're Low"

Is it just me or can you feel when your day is just gonna suck
It's like a pain in your brain from the second you get up
Get outta bed, try to ignore it but it's right there on your nose
It's mission is to keep you miserable I guess that's the way it goes


You wanna smile but your eyes won't do anything but cry
Negative thoughts dance in your mind like how everyday someone dies
Try to shake it off but it's not leaving it's on your skin it's on your clothes
Nothing to do but except it I guess that's the way it goes

When you're low, you know that the world changes color
When you're down, the clouds are the loneliest grey
When you're low, you know everything's in slow motion
And it takes forever to get through your bad day


Geste :

on 30 Aug 10 at 10:15 AM

FRNDZ SECOND SHADI MEIN EK ID HAI KUMARMANI (KUMAR) FROM HAJIPUR BIHAAR .HE REQUESTED ME FOR CHAT . PLEASE ALL OF U FEMALES GET ALERTED TO THAT PERSON HE IS NOT SEPARATED HE IS A MARRIED MAN LIVING WITH HIS WIFE A PIMP A PIMP..SHIT SHIT

vikas :

on 30 Aug 10 at 10:15 AM

Parable Number *: > > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the > crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day? The > crow answered: "Sure, why not. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the > crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and > ate it. > > Management Lesson: > > To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. > > Parable Number *: > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the > top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, > why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. > "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and > found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of > the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second > branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the > top of the tree. Soon, he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the > turkey out of the tree. > > Management Lesson: > > Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. > > > Parable Number *: > > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird > froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a > cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the > pile of cow dung, it began realize how warm it was. The dung was actually > thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for > joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to the sound, the cat > discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and > ate him! > > Management Lesson: > > *) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. > > *) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. > > *) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! > > > Parable Number *: > > The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they > passed some people who remarked, "it was a shame the old man was walking and > the boy was riding." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, > so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, > "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would > walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk > when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now > they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a > load on a poor donkey." The boy and man said they were probably right so > they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their > grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. > > Management Lesson: > > If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass. >

RAJ :

on 30 Aug 10 at 10:15 AM

I thik love & moey is a single solution for every problem.

RAJ :

on 30 Aug 10 at 10:15 AM

I think love & money is a single solution for every problem.

Geste :

on 30 Aug 10 at 10:15 AM

Yes money first then love ,,,Is solution for every problem..

Geste :

on 27 Aug 10 at 10:33 AM

sanjay sir ur absoluely right but dosti ya pyaar dono tootne ka ek reason yeh b ho sakta hein ki ek to poora honestly us rishtey mein banda hoaur doosra time pass kar raha ho .

Geste :

on 27 Aug 10 at 10:33 AM

hi Namartaa after a long time i seen you....hope every thing fine with you............ yes dosti aur pyaar tutne ka yeh ek bada karan hota hai..dosti main ager kuch din aapas main baat na bhi ho chalta hai ...but pyaar ki stuation main doono taraf se poori imaan dari se ek doosre ko wishwas delate rahna parta hai ki hum ek dusre ko kitna chahte hai...ager yeh bhaawan aa jaye to woh usne phone nahi kiya to woh sucha pyaar nahi karte...iska matalab ki unkaa Aahem(Ego) unke aage aa rahaa hai...saaf dikhai deta hai ki woh ab pyaar nahi karte aur unki expections badh gai hai ek doosere se.....and trust dhire dhire khatam hone lagta hai,,,,,,,,,,,,Jo ki nahi hona chahiye..

Geste :

on 27 Aug 10 at 10:33 AM

agar pyaar ya dosti ek taraf se ho to uskoek din tootna hein .pyaar donotaraf se hota hein ek hath se taalinahi bajti hein.

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