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Your second marriage and wedding

26 Aug 2008 9:10 PM by Sachin Gupta in Wedding
The decision of a second marriage is usually a lot harder to take than it was your first one. You are older, wiser, more life experienced, but at the same time afraid that this marriage can also go wrong. The first thing to do is lay the past to rest. And then have faith in your future. A second marriage is the beginning of a new life for you and your husband. So you have to start it right. Here are some tips that may help you.

1. Don't compare with your last wedding.

2. If you want a religious ceremony see what it is required: if you belong to the Roman Catholic you will need an annulment; if you are Est Europa Orthodox you just talk with the priest (the church allows a second religious ceremonial for those who are divorced); if you are Episcopalian you will need the bishop's permission to remarry; if you are Conservative or Orthodox Jewish, you will need to receive a Get (Jewish divorce) from your ex-husband.

4. Decide if you want a large or a small reception. The etiquette says that for the second marriage the bride should have a shorter veil (or none) and the gown should not be full length. Also the confetti/rice traditions are improper. The same goes for throwing the garter or the bouquet. But if you want to have all these things, nothing should stop you. It is your decision.

5. Write carefully the guests list. Some of them were at your first wedding too and maybe they won't come. But most of them will send presents as a sign of approval of the new wedding. Usually it's better to leave the ex spouse and ex parents in law out. But if you've remained in good terms you may invite them as well.

6. Pay attention to the children. Announce them as soon as possible. Don't let them hear from someone else but you. They may reject the idea of the second marriage and you have to be very diplomatic in treating the issue. If they are happy for you, you may give them responsibilities according to the age (flower girl, ring bearer, best man, bridesmaid) so they feel welcome in the new formed family.

7. Usually the second wedding is paid entirely by the couple. So you have to be very careful about the budget. But if the parents want to help, let them. After all, they are your parents and they want you to be happy.

8. Wit it being the second marriage some legal issues may be required (especially if there are children involved). Talk to your lawyer about them.

9. You may want a honeymoon. Don't go to a location that brings you old memories. Use the time to create new memories.

And most importantly: don't be ashamed to show the world that you are once again in love. You deserve to be happy.

(Courtesy: http://www.henwed.com)


158 Comment(s)

agarwal :

on 24 May 15 at 7:23 PM

People are doing time pass and loosing there valuable time which they will realise later

PS :

on 07 May 15 at 9:47 AM

some womans accepts expression of interest but they are neither responding nor contactingIi dont think they are here for serious relationship only they are here for timepass

rama :

on 27 Apr 15 at 11:50 AM

hi guys, I have read almost all comments mentioned here. Iam a girl's parent. All most all girls comes for the stage with lots of imaginations. We gents does not appreciate that and we dont want to forgo our freedom as well. We should understand one thing. that the girl is leaving her parents who brought them up till the age age of say 28 years, and coming with a stranger . So it is our duty to take care of her and make her comfortable in her new house. But in our case the boy started drinking from the very first day of their independent living. My daughter has not seen this situation in real life except in films. When he drinks, even he doesnt know what he says. and his parents agreed that he is very short temper. My daughter is very sobre and sensitive. So the first day itself, he spoiled her life and we have made a petition for divorce. I dont want to put an allegation on this boy as it is not in our blood, i have asked for a mutual divorce. So guys, be good . If somebody behaves like this with your sister, what will be your feeling???? WE ARE BROKEN NOW.

Aanand :

on 12 Jan 15 at 4:39 PM

Really it is very difficult to remarriage for indian males.because of woman welfare laws.if woman wills to seek divorce it is simple,just file case ask money from husband by means of wrong or right complaint against the husband.then easily they got relief,but for men it is not like that.first all the things that the wife did wrong are to be proved in the court,judge admits the complaints what husband experienced,lawyers accept the pain of husband and fight for the legal right of the husband.these are not happens in indian court.so that only lot of indian husband did suicide. court,lawyers don't worry about husbands problem,they only consider how much money he spends for lawyer,court,wife.this will ends the case.so it is very,very difficult to victim huasbands who was cheated by wife again and again by looting money,beating husband with the help of brother,brother in laws,rowdis.

agarwal :

on 09 Jan 15 at 5:31 PM

Correct financial loss is much in case of false 498 A case

suresh kumar :

on 09 Jan 15 at 12:12 AM

Hi, really its difficult to search a life partner for male to remarry when they are above 40 and it further aggravate if someone has lived a memorable married life. All this by virtue of experience which makes a person to evaluate his decision many times because wrong choice may not only ruin someone life but life of whole family as well. In prevailing Indian Culture due to wrong choice a lady loses social status but a man loses social as well as financial....... So be careful.........Good Luck with your search

Bhawani Shankar :

on 27 Aug 14 at 8:13 PM

unfortunately there is no formula of a successfull married life. Rather I can say "chale to chaand taak, na chaale to shaam tak"

jaspal :

on 26 Aug 14 at 5:23 AM

there is nothing precious than your life in this world. if a relationship with your spouse goes dead we should not carry on dragging it like a dead body on your shoulders. we should throw it away and look for a nice new partner. there are abundance of suitable matches available around there and actually your first one was not suitable for you at all, that was a mistake of your immature early age and now this time being mature you will find best suitable match and run the relationship very smoothly with your experience. don't worry at all about what other people think at least they don't think about your comfort. so you got to think about your comfort. that's for now

Bhavi :

on 12 Aug 14 at 3:46 PM

Well it becomes even difficult if you have kids as you are not even sure that the Kids are going to stay with you or not ... That's disgusting for sure .. and just to add to it by the time you come to know that you have a legal divorce now you are already in your 40s and 50s and your mind starts saying there's no point in getting married now ..

prasad :

on 05 Jul 14 at 6:19 PM

hi... *

Kanwaljit :

on 06 Feb 14 at 10:18 PM

the long wait to get a divorce makes it tougher to decide [ i was having a tough time deciding on the right set of words to use in this simple sentence considering the emotions involved, so i am sorry in advance if my choice of words was not correct ]

mansi :

on 21 Jan 14 at 6:09 PM

** Life Lessons from a ** Year Old Written by Regina Brett, ** years old, columnist for the Plain Dealer newspaper, Cleveland, Ohio . *. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. *. When in doubt, just take the next small step. *. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. *. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. *. Pay off your credit cards every month. *. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. *. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. *. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. *. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check. **. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. **. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. **. It's OK to let your children see you cry. **. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. **. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. **. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks. **. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. **. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. **. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. **. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. **. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take NO for an answer. **. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. **. Over prepare, then go with the flow. **. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. **. The most important sex organ is the brain. **. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. **. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In*years, will this matter?' **. Always choose life. **. Forgive everyone everything. **. What other people think of you is none of your business. **. Time does NOT heal everything. Give time time to let some love heal you. **. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. **. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. **. Believe in miracles. **. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. **. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. **. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. **. Your children get only one childhood. **. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. **. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. **. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. **. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. **. The best is yet to come. **. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up. **. Yield. **. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

JOSEPH :

on 15 Jan 14 at 11:54 AM

Good guidelines! A single parent sacrifices a lot of time and resources for his or her kids and for man or woman who does the best he or she can do and for those who waited to see his kids grow up and settled down and married,I feel that parent has earned to be remarried to a loving and affectionate person and trust she or he can have a happy extended family too. The truth is no body can see other persons heart but the words of the individual, only God can heal wounds of the past marriage and bless a happy re-married life.

Bhawani Shankar :

on 10 Jan 14 at 7:51 AM

love is blind but marrige is an eye opener. think before openning your eyes.

ajay :

on 06 Jan 14 at 8:33 PM

Hi Friends Past few month i am the active member on this site, what i feel here that most of the women are looking for Rich & handsome man. No one is really serious about anything , Just want to use others to there personal benifits . I would like to tell them first you see weather you are Rich or Beautiful or not ? If you are not enough of anything which u need from other end then you are not suppose to think even

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