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Your second marriage and wedding

26 Aug 2008 9:10 PM by Sachin Gupta in Wedding
The decision of a second marriage is usually a lot harder to take than it was your first one. You are older, wiser, more life experienced, but at the same time afraid that this marriage can also go wrong. The first thing to do is lay the past to rest. And then have faith in your future. A second marriage is the beginning of a new life for you and your husband. So you have to start it right. Here are some tips that may help you.

1. Don't compare with your last wedding.

2. If you want a religious ceremony see what it is required: if you belong to the Roman Catholic you will need an annulment; if you are Est Europa Orthodox you just talk with the priest (the church allows a second religious ceremonial for those who are divorced); if you are Episcopalian you will need the bishop's permission to remarry; if you are Conservative or Orthodox Jewish, you will need to receive a Get (Jewish divorce) from your ex-husband.

4. Decide if you want a large or a small reception. The etiquette says that for the second marriage the bride should have a shorter veil (or none) and the gown should not be full length. Also the confetti/rice traditions are improper. The same goes for throwing the garter or the bouquet. But if you want to have all these things, nothing should stop you. It is your decision.

5. Write carefully the guests list. Some of them were at your first wedding too and maybe they won't come. But most of them will send presents as a sign of approval of the new wedding. Usually it's better to leave the ex spouse and ex parents in law out. But if you've remained in good terms you may invite them as well.

6. Pay attention to the children. Announce them as soon as possible. Don't let them hear from someone else but you. They may reject the idea of the second marriage and you have to be very diplomatic in treating the issue. If they are happy for you, you may give them responsibilities according to the age (flower girl, ring bearer, best man, bridesmaid) so they feel welcome in the new formed family.

7. Usually the second wedding is paid entirely by the couple. So you have to be very careful about the budget. But if the parents want to help, let them. After all, they are your parents and they want you to be happy.

8. Wit it being the second marriage some legal issues may be required (especially if there are children involved). Talk to your lawyer about them.

9. You may want a honeymoon. Don't go to a location that brings you old memories. Use the time to create new memories.

And most importantly: don't be ashamed to show the world that you are once again in love. You deserve to be happy.

(Courtesy: http://www.henwed.com)


158 Comment(s)

agarwal :

on 05 Jan 14 at 7:55 PM

Everything depends upon situation.

manoj :

on 21 Dec 13 at 8:47 AM

Hi Guys: First and foremost become financially independent. Can it happen in aday? No. You need to build a foundation. Don't look at age. Age is just a number. I know a girl who was almost killed now in * years she dis Mcom and MBA . She is not rich I helped her but it was she was determined and still she want to give the best for her and her daughter. Look at Diana Nyad. At the age of ** she swan for ** hours from Florida to Cuba. Don't let these hurdle bother you. Make this Divorce as a best thing ever happenned to you.

Mohammed Eliyas :

on 20 Dec 13 at 11:28 PM

women should not go to work as they are already over burdened. They are cooking giving birth fulfilling the needs of husband taking care of the kids. This itself is enough for them. They should rest and take care of the family. child needs a mother and if mother sits at office what will happen? After coming back from office she can't concentrate about the family. she is too exhausted. Man physically and mentally strong and he can't be sentimental and affectionate like a female. so females are suited for the home and Men should work outside. There are exceptions of women who has to work like doctors for female patients and Teachers for female students etc.

naresh :

on 15 Dec 13 at 11:47 PM

jyada socho mat ladki aur ladka search karo aur bacche paida karo varna kab marnge pata n chalga

Jatin :

on 14 Dec 13 at 9:16 AM

in my experience, some of the girls are only after their men money. after marriage they play cruel intention games that may lead to divorce and claim alimony !! i am not saying that all are same, but few are still there waiting for the same..so Beware ...

Radhika :

on 10 Dec 13 at 9:36 PM

Hi, I am clear about what I said. I said that it is expected of a man or person to support himself and his family financially. I have not said that a woman need not do this--she should also try to do this as far as possible. But in Indian scenario, majority of women may not be well educated or wellemployed to achieve this in reality. Ideally, it is better that both partners are capable of providing for the family-- when anything bad (disease or death) strikes anyone, the other need not panic then! Right?

gani :

on 09 Dec 13 at 11:11 AM

RADHIKA HAS CLENALY TOLD MONEY IS NOT IMPORTANT BUT AGAIN MENTIOINED HUSBAND MUST EARN I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY HUSBAND SHOULD ONLY WORK HARD EVEN GIRLS MUST ALSO WORK EVEN MALE AND FEMALE MUST BOTH WORK AND GROW THE FAMILY EVEN IN FIRST MARRAIGE BOTH R WORKING WHY CANT B IN SECOND MARRAIGE I THINK LAZY WOMENWANT TO REMOVE LIFE FREELY

vilas :

on 08 Dec 13 at 1:14 AM

Radhika, you are right about such persons who compare their second wife with first one. But they are living in mind, have any idea about it? If you live in mind, means you are living in past and future. And many a many times past proves some what better than future. If you live in heart the story will be altogether different. Such person is always in present moment and what ever comes in front of such person who lives in heart all things, person are very beautiful for that person.

varun :

on 07 Dec 13 at 10:59 AM

whatever .......!!

Radhika :

on 04 Dec 13 at 8:47 PM

Ha Ha! Quite a few profiles are so pathetic that they dont know what they want in their lady! They say they want love. When the woman says she is ready to give love, they start seeing how beautiful she is and say that she is not as beautiful and as fair as their ex-wife! Though legally separated, poor chaps are not emotionally separated from their ex! How can they start a new life? Some put that they are awaiting divorce...for how long? It is quite tricky, there are some who are not in a position to get divorce within next 5 years for various reasons best known to them,beware ladies! I am of the opinion that a man should be able to support himself and his family financially--at least basic requirements like food,clothing,shelter, education and health needs, may not be pompous,luxurious and wasteful items.( Being a working woman, I am able to provide these to my family members.) Money has its place in life, but definitely it is not everything. All resources--love,compassion,care,passion,beauty,money etc--each has its own place--like contents of a foodplate-- it is for us to choose which item should occupy maximum space and which one to occupy minimum space-- which is our cereal and which is our pickle--whether cereal is important or pickle!

Radhika :

on 04 Dec 13 at 8:47 PM

Ha Ha! Quite a few profiles are so pathetic that they dont know what they want in their lady! They say they want love. When the woman says she is ready to give love, they start seeing how beautiful she is and say that she is not as beautiful and as fair as their ex-wife! Though legally separated, poor chaps are not emotionally separated from their ex! How can they start a new life? Some put that they are awaiting divorce...for how long? It is quite tricky, there are some who are not in a position to get divorce within next 5 years for various reasons best known to them,beware ladies! I am of the opinion that a man should be able to support himself and his family financially--at least basic requirements like food,clothing,shelter, education and health needs, may not be pompous,luxurious and wasteful items.( Being a working woman, I am able to provide these to my family members.) Money has its place in life, but definitely it is not everything. All resources--love,compassion,care,passion,beauty,money etc--each has its own place--like contents of a foodplate-- it is for us to choose which item should occupy maximum space and which one to occupy minimum space-- which is our cereal and which is our pickle--whether cereal is important or pickle!

Bhavik :

on 03 Dec 13 at 6:07 PM

I think it's important but I find it pathetic when I see people put ads stating they want the partner to be a certain occupation such as Dr. or Lawyer etc...I always thought Love is blind and not based on occupation. Do you love the person for them or their occupation and how much they make? Seems in our indian culture it's a big thing and to me it's pretty pathetic. I believe many women / and their parents base love on money. Are they that fake? Yet they belittle americans...how are they any better? I make decent money too but I'm sure you get my point :) Ladies, I'm a 37 yr. old single divorced male with a 9 yr. old girl and I have Sole custody of her if your in the same boat :)

gopikant :

on 26 Nov 13 at 1:05 AM

its true that money is important for life but its not essential that money give happiness in life

HIRSCH :

on 23 Nov 13 at 1:10 AM

funny comments...

Pramod :

on 26 Oct 13 at 10:15 PM

We live a life which is far different from facts of life. The fact is that the strongest love is in the blood,even after marriage a man & woman can not have the deeper relation what they have with their parents and siblings. However man falls for beauty it starts with outer and gradually gets in to inner self. A good physical chemistry leads to internal love where each others pain can be felt. A man must be able to give love, financial and emotional security to the female. The woman must keep herself physically and mentally fit,both should be if possible egoless which is a very difficult task.i am sure my worlds will impact few people for a better understanding to life. Good luck

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